Another One Word Topic

When starting this blog I knew that I would hit a rut sooner than later.  Yes, even for me there are times when I just don't feel like writing.  Unfortunately, I never really figured out a game plan that would help me get back into the saddle.  I mean do I force writing something every day (a personal goal of mine) or do I say nothing until that feeling passes. This time I focused on the latter and that feeling to write did return in full force.  The downside is that I disappeared  for a week. I'm sure I will find a happy medium between the two.  Until that time comes to pass I simply ask that you bear with me until I figure it all out. 

Now with that being said, I do have the urge to write but I don't know what I should write about.   I liked the idea of the one word topics but I didn't have my trusty husband with me to give me one. I ended up finding an online random word generator.  So my topic today would be centered around the word ::pushes the button of the random word generator::  Paragraph. Paragraph? Yeah I know what you're thinking, now imagine having to write a post about paragraphs.  Well posts are made up of paragraphs...and you have to get your paragraphs in order for your point to make sense.  Oh, and sometimes when I write these posts I start with the middle and work my way outward if you can believe that...and you couldn't, could you?  Hrm, this isn't working is it? Okay I'm going to twist this a bit, and I can do that because I make up the rules.  I'm going to use this topic to address a comment that I received and to talk about words.  Because words make up paragraphs so I have every right to talk about them.

Words fascinate me.  Language fascinates me. Words are all around us and yet I've never really stopped to think about them until recently and how I interact with them on a day to day basis.  I mean just look at all the words that are splattered across this page and I hardly give it a thought.  Once you starting thinking about it words, are nothing more than carefully places squiggles.  Words by themselves are meaningless, and hollow; they are chaos. But when you put meaning behind them they are probably the most powerful tool a person can utilize.  Words are vessels that connect your psyche to something that is physically tangible and more importantly words convey your thoughts to other people.  Consider what these little squiggles can accomplish.  We have used them to convey emotions, make them sound like music, fought wars, gained peace and one of my personal favorites, shared knowledge and information.  The same words that make me tear up when I read Hallmark cards in the middle of Walgreens were used to draft the Declaration of Independence.  Think about that, there is nothing so versatile than our words.  They are the keepers of hopes, and dreams, and memories.  They tell of our triumphs and of our mistakes.  Without words we wouldn't have a history to remind us from where we came, and without words great minds couldn't tell us where we are going.  They are simple and beautiful and hold no expectations of those that wield them. Look at how I was able to expand my thoughts on one single word.  Look at how I was able to share my emotions with you by using simple characters compounded in a non-randomized order fused with emotion and intellect.  Words are amazing, I just never really stopped to appreciate them before.

The second topic is that I've gotten comments that I've used too many words.  My posts are too long and there aren't any pictures. Okay, I can concede that my posts are a bit long but trust me when I say that I am giving you an abridged version.  I've written a post and have taken out countless paragraphs simply because I thought that it needed to be shorter.  Writing is my catharsis and I do hope that people would not deny me that simply because they don't want to take the time to read it.  I am okay with the fact that you think that but just know that this blog is probably not for you.  Now why don't I use pictures?  Because I like words better.  Let me give you an example-

"As I heard the excited barks and pounding of four paws, I broke out into an uncontainable smile.  Soft pads rushing over the ground quickly covered the distance between me and where the catch was made.  Laughing, I bent down to retrieve the prize and I was met with eyes that begged to go again.  "Are you ready?" I asked and was met with bright expectant eyes and the "whump whump whump" of a tail.  "Okay, go get it," was all that needed to be said.  Well that and the extension of my arm which released pure joy for one of my greatest friends."

Now after reading that, its not hard to figure out what is going on.  Someone is playing fetch with their dog.  But this little blurb was written in such a way that I didn't tell you a lot of information.  In the end you supplied it.  What kind of dog was it?  Where were they?  Who was throwing the toy? Was it you? Was it someone else? What type of toy was it? What time of the year were they playing?  I'm sure that you could tell me the answer to any one of these questions simply because you supplied the reality.  I didn't tell you specific details, I only set the scene.  That is why I don't supply many pictures.  You look at a picture and the mystery is gone.  You are immediately confined to the standards and expectations that I set.  With this passage you could have said that this dog was a purebred "gnosdag" from the planet "dgho;aed3" playing with is favorite "genojad".  Or you could have said that this was Snarlax, one of the greatest battle dogs of all the Trinarlian Empire playing with a severed hand after a great conquest.  Both scenarios would have worked because you filled in the gaps.  You could have never done that with a picture.  So yes, am I verbose? Absolutely. Am I going to provide pictures? Not often.  I want you to use your imaginations and start thinking.  That is my greatest goal.

Things I learned last week

I have decided that life is just one big learning experience.  I know that there are huge life altering lessons that we must learn; what it feels like to get your heart broken, the joy of making a team that you trained for, starting your first job.  But when I say that life is just one big learning experience I really start to look at the smaller things in life.  If you really sit down and think about it, you really are learning all the time.  Most of the things I learn is due to funny situations that result in me looking like an idiot.  No really, I'm serious.  I did the math. Last week 87% of the things I learned resulted in me looking utterly foolish.  But that's okay, I've decided God decided to put a good deal of Indian rubber in me because I usually bounce back rather quickly from my foibles. So here is small list of things that I learned last week:

1. My cat is evil- I guess this isn't much of a surprise because as we all well know all cats are evil.  That or they just don't like me.  Each Christmas my mom gives Nate cat toys in his stocking.  After several years I have finally concluded that she legitimately wants the cats to have them and they aren't just a slight to Nate and his character (if she wanted to do that, I'm sure she would have given him dog toys). This year she hit the ball out of the park with two lizards filled with catnip and crinkled when you bit down on them ("you" is pertaining to the the cats, not me speaking from experience). I have since named them Glitz and Glamor (because they're sparkly).  It is a complete understatement when I say that Torque loves these toys.  Since Christmas they have been his best friends and I always know his friends get into trouble when he comes up to me, starts whining, runs away a bit, comes back, starts whining, runs away a bit, etc. I know that if this was a dog doing this then Timmy has once again fell down the well.  If my cat starts doing this then I know that he managed to get either Glitz or Glamor lodged underneath something and wants me to get it. I don't know why cats do this.  Evolutionarily speaking this doesn't make much since.  I can imagine Saber-Tooth-Cave-Torque (scientific name- Pudgicus lazicus) bat around his recent kill until it gets stuck underneath a rock ledge and he can't get to it.  Technically the species would have died out long ago due to starvation (more credibility to the theory that all cats are evil and must have made a pact with the devil to survive).  However, I was happy to oblige because it makes him happy (that way he won't try to steal my soul when I'm sleeping) and he needs a bit of exercise.  I started getting suspicious last week when he seemed to do this routine excessively.  On the fifth time of me playing golden retriever for the day, I decided to  actually watch him. So I set up a sting operation.  Fortunately, he isn't too bright so me sitting in a chair reading a magazine was the perfect cover.  The following events happened: Torque took a few moments to sniff Glitz, took a look at me picked it up in his mouth, went over to the pantry doors, set Glitz down, took another look at me, and with one swipe of his paw pushed Glitz under the door frame.  After a few seconds he started whining.  That's when I realized with ice cold dread shivering down my spine that the lizard wasn't his favorite toy of all time...I was. 

2. Be careful what you write, don't make assumptions- I'm still kind of new with this whole blog thing and it its extremely easy to get lost in your own little bloggy world. When I write in this, I'm more of a stream of conscience writer, meaning I don't really think a lot about what I'm saying.  It just comes to mind and I write it down.  Sometimes, though, there are consequences.  First, I was chastised by my mother because she was worried about my grandmother reading my Valentines Day post.  She thought that the words "genitals, venereal disease, and procreation" were going to be too much for her delicate sensibilities. In my defense I did put a rating of pg-13 up there because I do know that family members read this and I didn't want offend them without warning them. Since then I have tried to tone down the more colorful descriptions and still get my point across. Second thing I've learned is don't make assumptions about who reads your stuff.  Last week when I went to my game session, one of the guys mentioned that they should start this session off by going around the room and telling something about themselves.  I had no idea what he was talking about until it dawned on me that he had read my RPG post.  I was completely caught off guard, followed by waves of embarrassment.  It wasn't what he said that was embarassing but the fact that I distinctly remember me wondering what their reactions would be if any of them read my analysis of the group.  I thought for a few moments and then completely brushed it aside thinking "bah, they'll never read this anyway." Boy, was I wrong. Outside world: 2, Mad Scientist: 0.

3. A New Word- I came across a new word that I never heard before: Venality. Venality is a vice associated with being bribeable or of selling your services or power, especially when one should act justly instead. In its most recognizable form, dishonesty, venality causes people to lie and steal for their personal advantage, and is related to bribery and nepotism, among other vices. Its a neat word that I'm sure I will probably use during the next Presidential/Congressional election.  I just see venality and politics going hand in hand.

4. Justin Bieber Nail Polish Exists- Surprisingly my brother told me about this little gem.  I don't really know what Bieber was thinking other than taking the KISS mentality and slapping your face on everything in existence.  I'm not saying guys are excluded from wearing fingernail polish. Its just that usually guys wear black nail polish (occasional a bright neon color like yellow or orange)  and are usually pegged as either goth or punk, which, for the most part, is fine with me. I just think that sparkly polish with glitter hearts in it is even a little too feminine for our little androgynous pop star here.  Okay, I told myself when I was writing this that I would not hate on the Bieber.  I don't hate him, he's too silly to hate, and he's an interesting look into what young girls consider hot date material.  I thought girls that age liked the bad boys, and had guys like Bieber fill the best friend slot.  Hrm, maybe I'm getting my dumb girl love phases wrong.  Now that I think about it, girls that like him are at the age where they do want the best friend until the hormones kick in and then they go after the bad boys. So really its just a matter of time before he fades from our existence.  Until then, if you want to slap your name on nail polish then for for it.  I will say I'll be ticked if I see your face on the side of my Tampax box (sorry Grandma).

5. TV Seasons are shot before they're aired- Nate and I have been watching the entire Farscape series for the past month of so.  I made the comment that Wayne Pygram (who plays Scorpius) must have hated it to sit in makeup chair for hours to just do one ten minute scene in that week's episode.  Nate pointed out that they probably shot several scenes for several different episodes at the same time so he wouldn't have to do that. I gave him this look of confusion.  I said that was impossible because how could they shoot a scene for next weeks episode when they only had a week to shoot the episode for this week, there wouldn't be enough time.  That's when Nate decided to speak very slowly and use small words and explained to me that most seasons were shot before hand. I cannot even begin to tell you why I thought that the cast would get together and shoot the episode for that week in the week that it was to be aired.  How stupid is that? Even worse is that I thought that the animators for The Simpsons would be doing the exact same thing. Nate pointed out what would happen that week if someone got into a car wreck or was sick, or the time it took to edit.  I couldn't get over how silly my original thought was.  Wow, the things you learn in a week.

Behind the Poetry 1

 This is a new series I'm thinking about adding to MotMS.  In case you don't know I've been writing poetry for many years of my life.  Its a hobby I take advantage of whenever the mood strikes me unless its during the Holidays where I've been writing a yearly Christmas poem for over ten years to give to family and friends as their Christmas card. Rest assured friends that I hope to continue that tradition even though I am now married.  Anyway, I got to thinking that I have never really shared my inspiration or critical thinking when it comes to these poems. Many of them have background stories and reasons as to why I write them.  Sometimes they are quite surprising and I think it would give better insight to myself.  To be honest, I've never really put into words why I write the things that I do and so I'm eager to do so today.  I've hardly ever written a poem based on diction or syntax, mostly I get feelings or impressions and I put those experiences into words which result in a poem. Okay, I'm now yammering. Here's the first one-

 Dear Old John

Once upon a time when the morning was new
And the grass was fresh and kissed with dew
Dear Old John would sit on a stump
With the children at his knee

And he would regale them with stories of old
Of dragons fire and knights so bold
But this morning he would tell them
Of a tale he truly did see

Once, he began, when I was a lad
I knew that there were wonders to be had
So I set out to search for a blessing
A glorious unicorn

And since I was so pure of heart
And did a lot of sacrifice on my part
I was rewarded to see the blessed beast
With the single spiraling horn

He beckoned me to join a dance
And my feet would whirl and his hooves did prance
And we waltzed in the meadows
As if I were again born

The children's eyes were wide with delight
For they longed to see that sight
And John felt lightened by the smiles
He knew that he procured

And as the children when home to sup
His rickety old knees struggled to hold him up
But that was nothing compared to the burden
That he had long since endured

For as John went home that eve
I could truly see his need
As a single tear rolled down
From his milky eyes of gray

For when he was young and full of life
He was beckoned by the beast of white
His soul wanted nothing more than to go
But his heart he did betray

And so he sits in agony
His eyes that will never see
He is left in eternal darkness
With the mistakes that he has made

And his dreams are now all but gone
For they had no reason to linger on
So they left to dance with the unicorn
In a clover laden glade

I've published this poem as a "note" on facebook so I figured I might as well start there before I select something for my other collections.  This is a piece I did as homage to another poem I used to read as a child.  The original was about a village that had a  person, aptly named John, who would knock on doors to ask people if they have seen his unicorn.  The villagers assumed that he was making it up and therefore dubbed him as crazy and would shoo him away.  It turns out he really did see a unicorn  and in the end found the beast again but kept the secret for himself since the other villagers didn't believe him.  I always loved this piece because it showed the rewards of keeping an open mind that anything is possible.  I would rather try to believe the unbelievable and learn more of the world around me than to stay in my comfort zone and live in the "world of the known".  The worst thing that can happen is that I'm wrong, and that is a learning experience that shouldn't be avoided. 

I liked that poem but I wanted to make it more personal.  And so I made a character that wasn't so much an outcast but a respected member of the community; a story teller.   I wanted someone who on the outside appeared to be happy and content but deep down he was devastated over a missed opportunity.  The fact that I made him blind reinforces the idea that sometimes you only have one chance to act upon something wonderful.  It is in the here and now that opportunities must be utilized, not later or maybe some other day.    Is this a tragic representation? yes, but sometimes that is necessary to drive the point home.  I needed something to illicit a strong reaction in myself whenever I knew what I had to do but was unsure of myself.  The words still affect me even though I wrote it many years ago.  This is one of the few times my poem was written for me by me. If someone else read it and took home the same or even a different message then that is all the better but it wasn't the original intent. The character of John was written as a reminder of myself that sometimes things might seem overwhelming or scary even though they are good once in a lifetime opportunities. And for me to be apart of that, I need to abandon those doubts and fears and just join the dance.